2010: The Year

Needs no explanation.

Best On Screen Chemistry
Dexter

Last season's bathtub carnage left me wondering how the hell they could possibly keep this show interesting. How could they match such an incredible season? The answer to that question turns out to be Julia Stiles.

I'm not a huge Julia Stiles fan (although I highly recommend The Business of Strangers,) but hot damn if she didn't add a whole new dimension to Dexter. Stiles and Michael C. Hall share ridiculous chemistry, and it was disturbingly heartwarming to think of Dexter having a life-partner in crime.

Close second:

Mad Men

Who the fuck gives a damn about Don Draper, his ego, his secrets, or his predictable decision to marry the pretty girl? It's all about Joan and Roger. Three cheers for writers and actors who have created two characters well over 30 who are hot as hell, smart, interesting, and make me root for adultery. 

Best New Thing on TV
Boardwalk Empire

It's big, it's beautiful, it's Scorsese, it's Buscemi, it's filmed in Brooklyn. Love. That is all that really needs to be said. Which brings me to....

Newest Ridiculously Sexy Woman on Weekly Television

Gretchen Mol

She was so damned good as Bettie Page, and now she's on tv on a regular basis as Boardwalk Empire's Gillian. She's the perfect mixture of sweet propriety, and gutter-mouth street smarts. Mol's prohibition-era Gillian is like Joan Holloway's spiritual grandmother.  My marriage ended in 2010 - I'm announcing here and now that my next wife will be Gretchen Mol.

Writer of the Year

Patti Smith

If you read just one book in 2010, I hope it was Patti Smith's Just Kids. Simple. Beautiful. Unlike any other love story you've ever read. It is perfect. 

Over-hype of the Year

Mary Ann in Autumn 

Sorry - I know people love Maupin. I love Maupin. I love the entire Tales of the City franchise and especially love Mary Ann Singleton, and sooo looked forward to this book. It's not that it's a bad book, but it's just not a good one. Truth be told, even for a long-time soap fan who's used to suspending disbelief, Mary Ann in Autumn was hard to swallow. It's winning awards and getting accolades because Armistead Maupin is a much-loved man - smart, funny, good-natured, and talented. This book does not show off his talent. Much like San Francisco, itself, you'll expect so much more, and find yourself settling for so much less. I wish I'd skipped it. 

Best movie You Probably Didn't See

Howl

See it. James Franco is so much more than a pretty face. He channels Ginsberg. Howl is a thing of beauty.

Biggest Loser

Barack Obama

Because he stands by marriage as the domain of heterosexual couples. Because he did all he could to keep DADT in place. Because he sold everyone who had faith in a national  health plan down the river. Because he gave the uber-rich more tax breaks. Because we are still at war. Because he has failed, miserably, by throwing away a great opportunity, and caused it to slip through his fingers. 

Another week of Dribs and Drabs

The Girl With The Golden Arm

It pained me to see Mad Men's Midge - my favorite of all the women Don has bedded down over the years - end up a junkie. Of course, it's kind of ridiculous that Midge looks so damned good for a junkie so desperate that she's scrounging around looking for money for her next fix. Rosemary DeWitt is a hottie, and she's way too smart and talented to be on the dreadful United States of Tara. Yeah, send me emails defending that show, if you really have to but here's my story and I'm sticking to it: USOT is a badly written, over-acted, piece of crap. The talented Toni Collette should be ashamed to be involved with it. The wooden, getting-long-in-the-tooth- for-the-good-old-boy-thing John Corbett is lucky to have the work. But Rosemary DeWitt runs the risk of never getting the notice she deserves as long as she's with that clunker. She was a good , little foil for Don's ideas about family life in season one of Mad Men, and her brief return helped move this week's action along but, ultimately, she looked too damn healthy, happy, well-fed and rosy to be a junkie. 

The Notorious Gretchen Mol

Loving Boardwalk Empire but, um...does anyone believe Gretchen Mol could be Michael Pit's mother? Maybe his slightly older girlfriend, but his mother? I'm thinking she looks about ten years older than he does. 

Anyhow, it's good to see her. I loved her in the Notorious Bettie Page, and I think she didn't get nearly enough credit for her acting in it. 

Also: Kelly Macdonald - one of my quiet favorites, ever since Trainspotting. Margaret Schroeder schooling two know-it-all politicos about women's suffrage? Perfect. She's quiet possibly my favorite character on this show. Don't give up on your values, Margaret! 

Early Cuts

Ok, so this is old, but it's still pretty fucking cool. My good friend's brother, Kyle Baker, did the drawings for this. If Kyle's name is familiar, it's probably because he also authored the amazing graphic novels about Nat Turner. If you haven't read them, check them out. I keep meaning to get copies for my nephews. 

 

Back at the ranch, Dexter is getting a little sloppy, no? And is it just me, or is his nanny going to end up being some baby-shaking, madwoman who chops up infants and uses them to make Irish stew?

Baby Jessica is sooo '86

As I type this, 3 of the Chilean miners have been rescued, and there are 28 to go. Go, Chile! Like Mad Men's Midge, don't these guys look way too robust, fit and - to be honest - chunky, to have been down there for three months, eating nothing but a spoonful of tuna every 48 hours? I'm not saying this is a hoax, but I do wonder if there's not an underground tunnel that leads to a nice, little ceviche bar. Or, you know, maybe when all is said and done there will only be 20 more guys to pull up. Hey - I'm just saying...they look good.

Jokes made in poor taste aside - Viva Chile! If the footage of that first guy coming up and hugging his son didn't make your eyes well up, you're some sort of soulless bastard, and I feel sorry for you. 

Who Says Smart Girls Don't Fuck?

A happy accident found me in a bar that was also a Litquake Litcrawl venue this past weekend, listening to Lorelei Lee read from her novel-in-progress. Lee is a porn performer, NYU MFA student, and writer. A very promising writer. I'm looking forward to reading her novel, once it's published. This short film gives some insight into a young woman whose choices not only buck convention, but challenge pre-conceptions about women who choose to work in the sex industry. You've got to love that.

Dribs and Drabs

Mad Men

How well-written is Mad Men? It's so well-written that I find myself rooting for Joan and Roger to continue their adulterous flirtation/affair and live happily, ever after. Roger, played by the incredibly charismatic John Slattery, is only ever a real human being when he's talking to Joan. No one else stands up to him, or calls him on his shit. No one else seems to have the balls to tell him off. And Joan? No one really takes her seriously as a human being - and not just a femme fatale - but Roger. There's real love there, real friendship. Roger tells Joan things he would never, ever tell his ridiculous wife. Joan understands Roger in a way no one else can. Roger has respect for Joan - something her rapist-of-a-husband has never, shown. These two are gorgeous together in every way.

Dexter

He's back. Holy shit, is he back. Dead wife. Grief. Guilt. And an epiphany: he can so love! Too soon to tell, but I'm psyched about this season. Ritualistic beheadings, Aster's teen agnst, the past always threatening to catch up with Dex, and the Florida sunshine. What could be better on a Sunday night?

Boardwalk Empire

Holy crap is this show a thing of beauty. Then again, it was a pretty safe bet: Scorsese + Buscemi + filmed mostly in Brooklyn. The writing is tight, the acting top-notch, the costumes and sets are amazing. It's just beautiful, on every level. Paz De la Huerta pretty much naked every week? That can't be too hard to swallow, either.

SHOCKER

Tea's alive. Yeah, we knew that. The show has been a bit of a mess, lately. In some ways, unwatchable. However, the tide seems to be turning. Maybe the only actor I've really enjoyed watching lately: Kassie Depaiva. What can I say? I love Blair, and I really like that the writers have had her stand by her promise to Tea.

RIP, Stephen J. Cannell

He gave us Wiseguy, dammit. And The Rockford Files.  And The A Team. And Tenspeed and Brownshoe, a show which I loved. Goodbye, SJC.

The Bay

So much hype - which actually made me suspicious that it would ALL be hype. It may be too soon to tell but, so far, I'm not really impressed. Well, that's not true...I AM impressed that they've seen fit to feature black characters from the get-go, not as fillers or servants, but actual characters involved in the action. And more than one. Other than that, there's not much here to make me watch, again.

For my money, Empire is still the only websoap delivering the goods. Season 3 is set to start November 9th, and I can't wait.

They Yearn for Earthly Pleasures...

I soooo want to go to this, but my Poltergeist cronies live in places like NY and Hawaii, and this is not the kind of thing one goes to alone. 

Dribs and Drabs

Time, again, to ramble on a little bit.

The World Stops Turning

Yes, it's over. As The World Turns took its final spin and, while I think it's sad that this genre is slowly dying, I can't say this particular show was worth saving. ATWT had been a mess for a long time. During the last year the writers were phoning it in. It must be frustrating to work for a show that noone wants to support. I'd rather forget the show that ran for the last year or so, and remember the glory days, when ATWT was must-see daytime television. In my opinion, ATWT hit its peak during the days of Josh and Iva's secret coming out into the open....

...and Casey's begging Margo to show mercy, pull the plug, and allow him to die with dignity.



That's the show it's a shame to have lost.

The Mad Women

Can I just say that if you could merge Joan and Peggy, that's the woman I want to marry?

"I'm Stupid"

Republicans Hating Gays? Who'da Thunk?

Someone on the government payroll is using our time and, technically, our PC, to spread hate about the gays. And it ain't a democrat.

File Under WTF?

A tornado hit my old neighborhoodin Brooklyn last week. I have a friend in Chacago who laughed and said "We call that a little wind." Nah, sorry. We had weather as windy as Chicago has when Ilived in Wellington. THIS was a fucking tornado.

This is around the corner from my old house:

The Year In Review

Patrick Erwin beat me to it, and his Best and Worst list is well worth reading, so check it out.

Snapper's best and Worst of 2009

Most shocking television plot twist, hands down:

Dexter's Rita takes a bath. Holy crap. My mouth was literally agape when this aired for the first time. I dreamt of poor Rita that night. What more is there to say?

Most ridiculously joyful moment, night time television:

This one is a tie, and it all belongs to Mad Men's Joan Holloway: between

Joan bashing her obnoxious husband over the head with a vase, and her triumphant return to the world of advertising in the season finale, this character brought me more pure, giddy joy than any other in my recollection. I cheered both times. Literally cheered.

Most lovable dark horse:

Edie Falco's Nurse Jackie. She's an adulteress, a drug addict, an habitual liar, a bitch on wheels. And I couldn't love her more than I already do.

Most unlikley agent of pure evil:

John Lithgow, Dexter. Who the hell knew John Lithgow had it in him? His Trinity Killer is pure, unadulterated evil of the creepiest variety. The man sends chills up and down my spine. Can this really, truly be Roberta, the lovable transexual from The World According to Garp? This bit of casting was inspired, and Lithgow is nothing short of brilliant.

Most frustrating test of patience:

The wait for season 4 of Big Love. I know it's coming in January, but it's been one hell of a wait.

Best Web Series:

Compulsions. You probably haven't seen this. Chances are, you haven't heard of it. Well, now you have no excuse. If you like Dexter...if you think Profit was just too damned good to survive network television...if you enjoy the finger-cutting scene in Bound...if you just love the idea of people leading double lives.... Compulsions is for you. I'm serious. This series is free to view, and everything about it is good: great scripts, fine acting, great camera work. These guys make each 4-6 minute episode feel as complete and jam-packed as an hour of traditional television.

Most effective promotion of a web series:

Crystal Chappell, Venice: The Series. Long before even one second had been filmed, people were chomping at the bit to see this. The hype was over-the-top. Chappell shrewdly flooded not only the soap press, but managed to cross over to mainstream, with an appearence on CNN. Unfortunately the product, itself, is pure crap and there seems to be no technical know-how connected to the production - inexcusable in this medium. Too bad the end-product didn't live up to the hype but, really, what could have lived up to such a build-up?

Most shocking casting coup:

James Franco, General Hospital. Nuff said.

Best performance by a female, daytime:

Beth Maitland, The Young and the Restless. Everyone I talk to who watched that fateful week of Y&R either loved it or hated it, but we all agree on one thing: Beth Maitland was superb. I never realized how much I missed her until she came back and, boy, did she come back with the goods. I'm not forgetting that 2009 was the year that Crystal Chappell knocked it out of the park with the graveyard scene (and so many other scenes), but big is often easier to play than little. Beth Maitland's Traci was, during this stint, a small miracle. She's quietly brilliant, and quiet brilliance is so freaking difficult to pull off.

Best performance by a male, daytime:

Grant Aleksander, Guiding Light. There was a lot of buzz when Grant returned to the role of Philip Spaulding in 2008. Most of us thought he was brought back to help save the show, In reality he returned to make sure Philip came full circle as Guiding Light ended. While he didn't always have the greatest or most believable stuff to work with, Grant reminded me of why so many of us love him.

Best off-screen drama:

Eric Braeden's Mexican stand-off with Y&R. I love you, Eric Braeden. No one at CBS or Sony thought you'd break the unwritten rule and open your mouth about the way these companies seem to think contract negotiations ought to be run (ultimatums sent via email???) but, God love you, you did. You talked and talked and talked, and reminded the world that Y&R is Victor's show. While you did end up taking a significant pay cut in the end, the damage was already done, and TPTB will think twice the next time they pull this kind of stunt with anyone who really matters. And Y&R? Virtually unwatchable since you've been gone. I'm looking forward to your return.

Biggest waste of talent:

Maureen Garrett, Guiding Light. Guiding Light had one hell of an opportunity to do something interesting and challenging with one of the best actors daytime has ever seen. They had her on the set for only one day, true, but they wasted that day. It was nice seeing Holly, again, but what did it achieve? More than anything, the wasted opportunity made me sad.

Best trend spurred on by the cancelation of television's longest-running drama:

Invested fans of Guiding Light hitting the web and making their voices heard. Who better to cover the end of an era, than those who actually followed along for years? The demise of GL brought about dozens of blogs, podcasts, forums, and events - all home-grown by actual fans. Some of this stuff was awful, some of it was great. Either way, it didn't matter - it's now clear that there are a substantial number of bright, articulate people to whom serial drama matters, and they are just as qualified- if not more so - to discuss and critique the genre than some guy at The Wall Street Journal who has never watched a serial drama in his life.

Worst trend spurred by the cancelation of television's longest-running drama:

Blind, overly-invested fans of Otalia and Crystal Chappell deciding that anyone not 100% pleased with the course of the story line, or of Crystal Chappell's looks, words and actions should be considered enemies of the state. The "you're either with us or against us" mentality is a truly ugly by-product of GL's cancelation that will no doubt bite one or two people on the ass.

Biggest career boost spurred on by the cancelation of television's longest-running drama:

Tina Sloan. Many of us knew who Tina Sloan was, and how damned good an actress she was long before Guiding Light was cancelled. For a whole generation of people who only knew Tina as the too-often back-burnered Lillian Raines, though, Tina's charm, humor, intelligence and range came as a pleasant surprise. Not one to take adversity sitting down, Tina's career seems to have been ironically re-invigorated by the demise of GL - her one-woman show has been a smashing success, she's secured a publishing deal for her book (due out in 2010), she's blogging at Huffington Post, she's just wrapped up filming a movie with Natalie Portman, and she's a fan favorite on Facebook and Twitter. This is, IMO, a well-deserved career boost - those of us who have followed Tina for years did not like the idea of her sitting on the back burner for so long.

Best podcast:

Pancakes and A Valium. I find podcasts pretty tiresome and boring, as a rule, but PAAV was and is consistantly funny and amusing, not to mention smart, clever and thought-provoking. And, before you write in to say I'm only mentioning PAAV because I like Liz and Dani Pancake, flip it around, kids: I only got to know and love Liz and Dani because I stumbled on to their great podcast one day and got hooked. Is there a law against liking cool, smart, funny people?

Best comeback:

Patrick Erwin, A Thousand Other Worlds. When Patrick decided to call it a day and stop blogging, my heart sank. How psyched was I, a few weeks later, when he had a change of heart and wrote his "Never mind" entry?

Mad Men, Mad Times: Art Imitates Life

"It's makes me wonder about civil rights. Maybe it's not supposed to happen right now."

On tonight's episode of Mad Men, this was Betty's comment to Carla, the black house servant. They were discussing the 1963 bombing of a church in Birmingham that left four little girls dead. Four murdered children, and Betty's response wasn't about finding the murderer or drawing a line once and for all on hate crime and racism. Betty, an ultra-privileged white woman living the American Dream instead questioned if the time was right for "negroes" to get a little bit of equity. Maybe, the implication was, black America should just wait.

If this business of suggesting that the disenfranchised not make so much noise and piss off their oppressors sounds like a deja vu it might be because serendipity called for Mad Men to air on the night of the day that tens of thousands of gays and lesbians marched on Washington to demand their basic civil rights. It's also the day after our president, Barack Obama, made a speech before the Human Rights Campaign in which he spoke vaguely and without commitment about his intention to champion equal rights for gays and lesbians in the United States.

If you're anything like me, you found Betsy's "Maybe it's not supposed to happen right now" appalling, and all too familiar. By her twisted, privileged logic, those four little girls from Birmingham died not because of the murderous act of a cowardly bigot, but because of the black community's impatience. Betty believes in desegregation in theory but, really, how dare they expect equity a mere 100 years after the civil war!

This is exactly the sentiment Barak Obama puts forth every time he talks about his deep and abiding belief, in theory, in equal rights for gays and lesbians: sure, you queers deserve some satisfaction, but not right now...and the more you hem and haw about it, the more problems you're going to cause for yourselves.

When Obama says that he intends to do away with the military's Don't Ask/Don't Tell policy, but wriggles his way out of committing to a time line he's echoing Betty Draper's half-assed, not-in-my neighborhood brand of liberalism. In 2009, looking back at this logic in action in 1962 on a fictional television drama is appalling. Seeing it in action today, in real life, and from the leader of the most powerful nation in the world? Unacceptable.

© 2009 Lana M. Nieves

Limited Licensing: I, the copyright holder of this work, hereby publish it under the Creative Commons Attribution license, granting distribution of my copyrighted work without making changes, with mandatory attribution to Lana M. Nieves and for non-commercial purposes only. - Lana M. Nieves

Thank you to FlyingPeanuts for use of her photo.