Winner of the "Political activism and kick-ass bravery are hot" award: Pussy Riot's Nadya Tolokno. More than just a pretty face, but such a pretty face, at the same.
Winner of the "It's only important if it happens to white people" award: EBOLA. It's been around for ages, without making a ripple in the American consciousness. A white guy caught it and not only did it make global news, but they cured him.
Winner of the "Where's Waldo" award: Malaysia Airline's Flight 370. Too soon?
Winner of the "Drought's over" award: Toni Morrison, for announcing a new novel is forthcoming. Praise be!
Winner of the "Sorry, drought's NOT over" award: The state of California, where not even two weeks of downpour, complete with flooding, power outages, sink holes, and mudslides could end the drought.
Winner of the "Who knew watching a teen-aged boy die in a disgusting way could be so delicious?" award: Joffrey. Boy did he have this coming. Joffrey died and everyone in the world cheered.
Winner of the "Who says sequels are always a letdown?" award: Mockingjay. Each of the Hunger Games movies is better than the one before. Mockingjay Part 1 kicked ass. The only thing that sucks? We have to wait until next year for the final installment.
Winner of "Same-sex marriage is soooo 1825" award: Charity and Sylvia. If you think you have it tough being a lesbian in 2014, this true story is downright humbling.
Winner of the "How the fuck did I miss this?" award: Skeleton Twins. You probably didn't see it. Almost no one did. You really should. Wiig and Hader are pretty terrific in this brother/sister love story. Not like that, silly!
Winner of the "Dammit, and Victoria Jackson is STILL alive???" award: The late, great, insanely talented Jan Hooks. Damn. Bye, Jan. You were really fucking great.