Twelve reasons, off the top of my head, why New York City is the greatest city in the world, and San Francisco isn't.
1. The subway. It's old. The stations are ugly, and there are stalagtites growing from the ceilings, I know. But that fucking system is 100 years old, and runs 24 hours a day, and is faster, more efficient, and more reliable than MUNI by a wide, wide margin. And it has fucking express/service tracks, so that one broken down train doesn't disable the entire city. I fucking love the NYC subway.
2. Bagels and bialys. If you're not from NYC, you may not know what a bialy even is. Look it up. And NYC doesn't just have them. They have them, freshly made, at stores that are open until 2am, except on the weekends. That's when they're open until 4am, and only because the floors have to cleaned *sometime*.
3. Deli. I ain't gonna elaborate.
4. Cab drivers. Those motherfuckers are ninjas. I love them. And how fucking easy is it to get a cab n NYC? Really fucking easy.
5. Fireflies. That's right. In summer, NYC has fireflies.
6. Mister Softee. You hate that sound? Um...fuck you. To real New Yorkers, that's the sound of summer.
7. Sun showers.
8. Manhattan Special.
9. Tree-lined streets, and lots of them.
10. Cobblestones streets in SOHO. Sure, driving down Wooster feels like the Ho Chi Minh Trail. It's called HISTORY, asshole. NYC is teeming with it.
11. The Bridge. If you're asking "which bridge?" you're dead to me.
12. It's the biggest city that always feels like a tiny town. Running into people I know is a common thing. I like that. Brooklyn is bursting at the seams with my relatives, and we all look alike. I love it when people stop me and ask "are you related to (insert relative's name here.)?" It happens more often than you would imagine.