Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Damned Shame - Episode Breakdown


I am not a happy camper, right now. Today's episode was the next-to-last episode of Guiding Light, ever, and it was a huge mess and a bloody waste of precious time. It is inconceivable to me that the writers of this show could feel that loyal viewers of this show are deserving of the pile of crap that aired today, or that the actors, who have sacrificed so much during the last 18 months, deserved no better send-off.

Josh Lewis

Josh wants to kidnap Reva and marry her? That's stupid and boring. It's ridiculous. It's pointless. And it amounted to nothing. It seems to me that there was a good 8 or 9 minutes to fill, and some hack decided, "Hey, I know - let's just give Robert Newman some filler bullshit about wanting to marry Reva. No one will believe it's going to happen, and no one will care, but who gives a damn? We can't have dead air." I think this calls for a picture of Olivia, to dull the pain.

The Token Black Characters

I honestly think the writers have felt, for several months, now, that the show just had to have a black story line, no matter how pointless or bad it was. There is NOTHING interesting or entertaining about Remy and Christina. There never WAS anything interesting or entertaining about them. They don't have a fan base. And, I have to call it as I see it: neither one of these two young people could act his or her way out of a paper bag. To say that I'm infuriated by the fact that precious time was wasted in giving them yet another stupid, pointless, boring story line would be putting it mildly. Remy and Christina's surname shouldn't be "Boudreau", it's should be "Token."

If the writers really felt compelled to run a story line with a black character (which is fair enough) why didn't they get Yvonna Wright back on contract a year ago, and develop a meaty story for Mel Boudreau, instead of a quickie bit of fluff between Mel and Cyrus? Wright can actually act, Mel is part of Springfield's main family and, let's face it, Yvonna Wright is not exactly difficult to look at. So much has been said about how the main families of Springfield have been abandoned, and it's true. This is a prime example of a wasted opportunity. Instead of going the token black route and featuring lots of Remy and Christina junk, the writers should have long ago focused on Mel and Leah, placing them front and center, representing the future of the Bauer clan....the future of Springfield, the future of Guiding Light.

But, back to Remy and Christina - are they supposed to be survivors of a great accident? Did I miss the episode when they both incurred massive, traumatic brain injuries? Because only two brain-damaged adults would fail to realize that not having a marriage license is a pretty significant blunder. No wonder it's so easy to get away with crime in Springfield: the police force is manned by total idiots. Remy makes Frank Cooper look like a Rhodes Scholar. Not only does he not know that marriage is, indeed, a legal status, but he clearly has no idea what a pregnancy test is.

The only good thing about any of this was the ten seconds of Olivia, and the look she gave Remy. That look spoke volumes. It said, "You're a fucking retard, Remy. All this time wasted on you and your bug-eyed wife could be spent on ME and MY cute wife who is suddenly starting to seem pretty smart, compared to you." Yes, I'm angry. And, yeah, I'm posting another Olivia picture. Got a problem with that?

Reva and Jonathan

I don't really care about this, but I'm glad to see Kim Zimmer and Thom Pelphrey together, because they have a great rapport. And Reva/Jonathan act like a real mother and son might act. But, really, who cares? I don't.


Yeah, whatever. Who gives a shit? Suddenly people from U.C. are calling it Berkeley College, and not U.C. Berkeley. I know a high-functioning moron who has his degree from U.C. Berkeley, so it's feasible that Daisy would get in. But, again, who gives a shit? In fact, I care so little that I'm posting another picture of Crystal Chappell.

Ed and Holly

Where to begin? There writers had the sublime Maureen Garrett on set for one day, and they totally wasted her talents. Holly only ever ever wanted Ed because he was safe. How incredibly boring. I love Peter Simon, but this development is lame and foolish. Why even bother to bring Holly back? For this? Seriously? I still think bringing Holly back as a lesbian would have kicked ass. I'm not even saying I'd want or expect to see her with a partner. I just think that would have been an awesome way to make use of Garrett's one day of shooting. This nonsense of Ed and Holly winding up together? I'm happy for my friend, Patrick Erwin, who likes them together but, for me, it's total bullshit. Yeah - no. I'm not posting a picture of Ed and Holly. RIP, Michael Zaslow.

Edmund and Jefferey

Seriously, does anyone give a shit about this stupid crap? Jefferey raped Olivia a million years ago, and now they're friends. That calls for a picture of Olivia, so that this space isn't a total waste.

Phillip and James

I love them together. The Frisbee scene was perfect. Not too much. Quiet. Sweet. That is all.


Thank God for Marj Dusay, who kicked all kinds of ass, today. I never thought I'd be happy to see Fletcher Reade. I've never much cared for him. But Alex has loved him for years, and he's always had that soft spot for her. It was a fitting nod to the past, to Alex's history, to have Fletcher rush back to Springfield, and to have him be the only person Alex could break down in front of. Marj Dusay saved this episode from being a complete waste of time. "Bye-bye, brother" brought tears to my eyes.

Odds and Sods

I got nothing. I'm seriously too pissed off.


MJinTenn said...

Snapper, you are amazing. While I have been sleeping you birthed one of my most favorite SuperHero LunchBox posts ever, vying for top spot with O.T.A.L.I.A.

Methinks you have super hero powers of the mind-reading kind. I'm pissed too, and I can't thank you enough for posting the lovely pictures of Olivia/Crystal Chappell. She really does make everything better.

Only one more to go in the countdown. I will surely miss your GL analysis much more than the crap GL has offered of late, but I am so, so sad that it is going away. I wish they were giving this great show a better sendoff.

ocean1blue said...

Just want to add FUCBS, because it can't be said enough, and an additional FU Ellen Wheeler for breaking our hearts with this thoughtless crap.

Anonymous said...

I liked all of the Olivia pictures!

And yes, Marj Dusay ROCKS!