A Damned Shame - Episode Breakdown

9/17/09

I am not a happy camper, right now. Today's episode was the next-to-last episode of Guiding Light, ever, and it was a huge mess and a bloody waste of precious time. It is inconceivable to me that the writers of this show could feel that loyal viewers of this show are deserving of the pile of crap that aired today, or that the actors, who have sacrificed so much during the last 18 months, deserved no better send-off.

Josh Lewis

Josh wants to kidnap Reva and marry her? That's stupid and boring. It's ridiculous. It's pointless. And it amounted to nothing. It seems to me that there was a good 8 or 9 minutes to fill, and some hack decided, "Hey, I know - let's just give Robert Newman some filler bullshit about wanting to marry Reva. No one will believe it's going to happen, and no one will care, but who gives a damn? We can't have dead air." I think this calls for a picture of Olivia, to dull the pain.

The Token Black Characters

I honestly think the writers have felt, for several months, now, that the show just had to have a black story line, no matter how pointless or bad it was. There is NOTHING interesting or entertaining about Remy and Christina. There never WAS anything interesting or entertaining about them. They don't have a fan base. And, I have to call it as I see it: neither one of these two young people could act his or her way out of a paper bag. To say that I'm infuriated by the fact that precious time was wasted in giving them yet another stupid, pointless, boring story line would be putting it mildly. Remy and Christina's surname shouldn't be "Boudreau", it's should be "Token."

If the writers really felt compelled to run a story line with a black character (which is fair enough) why didn't they get Yvonna Wright back on contract a year ago, and develop a meaty story for Mel Boudreau, instead of a quickie bit of fluff between Mel and Cyrus? Wright can actually act, Mel is part of Springfield's main family and, let's face it, Yvonna Wright is not exactly difficult to look at. So much has been said about how the main families of Springfield have been abandoned, and it's true. This is a prime example of a wasted opportunity. Instead of going the token black route and featuring lots of Remy and Christina junk, the writers should have long ago focused on Mel and Leah, placing them front and center, representing the future of the Bauer clan....the future of Springfield, the future of Guiding Light.

But, back to Remy and Christina - are they supposed to be survivors of a great accident? Did I miss the episode when they both incurred massive, traumatic brain injuries? Because only two brain-damaged adults would fail to realize that not having a marriage license is a pretty significant blunder. No wonder it's so easy to get away with crime in Springfield: the police force is manned by total idiots. Remy makes Frank Cooper look like a Rhodes Scholar. Not only does he not know that marriage is, indeed, a legal status, but he clearly has no idea what a pregnancy test is.

The only good thing about any of this was the ten seconds of Olivia, and the look she gave Remy. That look spoke volumes. It said, "You're a fucking retard, Remy. All this time wasted on you and your bug-eyed wife could be spent on ME and MY cute wife who is suddenly starting to seem pretty smart, compared to you." Yes, I'm angry. And, yeah, I'm posting another Olivia picture. Got a problem with that?

Reva and Jonathan

I don't really care about this, but I'm glad to see Kim Zimmer and Thom Pelphrey together, because they have a great rapport. And Reva/Jonathan act like a real mother and son might act. But, really, who cares? I don't.

Daisy

Yeah, whatever. Who gives a shit? Suddenly people from U.C. are calling it Berkeley College, and not U.C. Berkeley. I know a high-functioning moron who has his degree from U.C. Berkeley, so it's feasible that Daisy would get in. But, again, who gives a shit? In fact, I care so little that I'm posting another picture of Crystal Chappell.

Ed and Holly

Where to begin? There writers had the sublime Maureen Garrett on set for one day, and they totally wasted her talents. Holly only ever ever wanted Ed because he was safe. How incredibly boring. I love Peter Simon, but this development is lame and foolish. Why even bother to bring Holly back? For this? Seriously? I still think bringing Holly back as a lesbian would have kicked ass. I'm not even saying I'd want or expect to see her with a partner. I just think that would have been an awesome way to make use of Garrett's one day of shooting. This nonsense of Ed and Holly winding up together? I'm happy for my friend, Patrick Erwin, who likes them together but, for me, it's total bullshit. Yeah - no. I'm not posting a picture of Ed and Holly. RIP, Michael Zaslow.

Edmund and Jefferey

Seriously, does anyone give a shit about this stupid crap? Jefferey raped Olivia a million years ago, and now they're friends. That calls for a picture of Olivia, so that this space isn't a total waste.

Phillip and James

I love them together. The Frisbee scene was perfect. Not too much. Quiet. Sweet. That is all.

Alexandra

Thank God for Marj Dusay, who kicked all kinds of ass, today. I never thought I'd be happy to see Fletcher Reade. I've never much cared for him. But Alex has loved him for years, and he's always had that soft spot for her. It was a fitting nod to the past, to Alex's history, to have Fletcher rush back to Springfield, and to have him be the only person Alex could break down in front of. Marj Dusay saved this episode from being a complete waste of time. "Bye-bye, brother" brought tears to my eyes.

Odds and Sods

I got nothing. I'm seriously too pissed off.

He Is Just Away - Episode Breakdown

9/16/09

I cannot say, and I will not say

That he is dead. He is just away.

With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand,

He has wandered into an unknown land.

- James Whitcomb Riley (Excerpt)

Phillip and Rick

As I watched the first two scenes of this episode I got all choked up, not just because Alan is dead and Phillip is suffering, but because I realized that I've been watching these two men together since they were practically still boys. We grew up together and, after Friday, I'll never see Freddie and Phillip, again. Guiding Light has treated us to some really wonderful friendships over the years, and this is one of the most enduring. Who else would Phillip call on finding his dead father, but his oldest and best friend? I love these guys together. I love it that the drama of the final episodes provided these characters with a chance to be on screen in a meaningful way. Grant Aleksander's performance was, once again, perfect. He looks as if his heart is broken, and it breaks my heart to see him.

Reva and Jonathan

I've hardly cared about these two until today, and the only reason I care today is because Reva is handling her son's homecoming the way Natalia should have handled Rafe's return from prison. Reva and Jonathan together scream REALISM. Reva's not having any of the weird behavior Jonathan has picked up while he's been on the run. She lays down the law: now that you've re-entered the real world, real world rules apply, so get over yourself. Why, why, why couldn't Natalia have handled Rafe in this way months ago? No wonder he's a douchebag.

I also like that Alan's death lights a fire under Reva and pushes her into facing the fact that loss is, sadly, a part of life, but that life goes on. Nice nod to the fact that Alan and Reva were married once. They were even happy for a little while.

I'm going to ask this, again: why do the wardrobe people hate Kim Zimmer? We've seen her at the Emmy Awards and the Paley event, where she looked great. It's almost as if the wardrobe people looked for the least flattering dress they could possibly find for Kim. Kim isn't 20. And she's not a size 3. Neither are most of us. She's a real woman - something we hardly get to see anymore. "Real" does not have to mean "dowdy." Reva Shayne is not dowdy.

Alexandra Spaulding

If yesterday's episode belonged to Grant Aleksander, today was Marj Dusay's turn to shine. It's about damned time. Alex's controlled, understated reaction to losing her beloved brother was spot-on. Dusay didn't miss a beat. It's unfortunate the actors playing the servants haven't been series regulars, because Dusay was great in that scene, while the actors playing the servants looked like two day players who were really excited to actually have lines.

I loved the way Alex took control and laid out the plans for Alan's funeral. Alex is, after all, the head of the family. For many years, while Alan was away, Alex really was head of the family. She has experience in this area. She does not drop the ball. Alex keeps her shit together, keeps tough, and breaks down when she can do it alone. We saw this years ago when she had her heart crushed by Roger. We saw it again today. The final scene with Alex and Alan's corpse felt like eavesdropping or looking through a peephole at a private moment. Beautiful work from Dusay. What a shame she's been on the shelf for so long.

James

Damn you for making me like you a little bit. What a lousy way to find out your grandfather has died. When James hugged Phillip, I let out a sigh of relief.

Rafe

Rafe is a jerk. He spends a private moment of bonding with Frank, thanks him profusely for all he's done for him, but can't muster up much more than an "I have to go" for his own mother? What about all your mother has done for you, Rafe? All she's given you? Like...basically...everything. And don't get me started on his asking Olivia to take care of Natalia for him. My rant to Rafe: You never even apologized, you little shit! The last time we saw you talking to Olivia, you were gloating and telling her that she was going to end up alone. You don't get to do that shit, never even apologize, and then ask Olivia to take care of your mom, as if nothing has happened. And, no - giving Emma a quarter does not make up for your bad behavior. Being nice to a kid who has just lost her grandfather is the absolute least that's expected from adults in the real world. You don't get a medal for that.

Another thing - I'm sick of hearing that Rafe is a hero. The script writers clearly need a thesaurus. They used this word for Mallet, too. Rafe is not a hero. He's a homophobic bastard who is so afraid of facing the fact that his mother loves another woman, that he's opted to join the army. It's called running away from home. Hiding behind a uniform and a war doesn't make it any less cowardly.

Olivia and Natalia

Sweet. That's pretty much it. They should have made out as Rafe's bus pulled out. I like the idea of him being deployed to Iraq with the image of his mother being groped by Olivia cemented into his brain.

Buh bye, Rafe!

Odds and Sods

Olivia's nail polish is nasty. Sorry, but Herman Munster is not the look Olivia should strive for.

This just occurred to me - why the hell wasn't Ed Bauer at Vanessa's wedding? He's one of her oldest, dearest friends. Dumb oversight.

Did anyone else laugh when Alex told Rick that no one blamed him for Alan's death? Translation: You've killed another patient, Rick!

The fact that Peyton has been invisible for years came back to haunt GL today: the child playing Peyton is just some cute, generic kid who clearly has no rapport with Beth Chamberlain. What could have been a touching scene if the child had at least felt comfortable making eye contact with Chamberlain, ended up being nothing more than a tedious waste of time. We don't know Peyton, so we don't really care about Peyton.

I think it was Nelson Branco who recently wrote that it's wise for writers who don't know how to write for Grant Aleksander to allow his action to take place out of earshot. I liked it that we saw, but didn't hear, as Phillip broke the news of Alan's death to Lizzie. I don't know if the person writing that day's script felt unable to write dialogue for that scene, or why they chose to film it in this way, but it worked.